Random things in my head

There are days I have thoughts in my head I want to write about, but can’t flesh them out into anything more meaningful than a sentence or two. Sometimes it’s because of the PTSD. Sometimes I can’t find the right words to express myself. Sometimes someone else said it better. Sometimes there isn’t anything more to say.

The list below is from the past week. In a way, each bit is its own story, regardless of how short or long it is.

I was afraid to attend the protest on June 14, 2025. I went anyway. They want you to be afraid and stay home. They want you to submit to and accept a variety of immoral acts they are committing and remain silent. Resist.

Pete Ricketts keeps saying he and his team are here to serve me. It’s a lie. He’s a liar. Always has been. Always will be.

TACO has only been in power for five months. It feels like five years.

MAGA won’t see the positive images and stories. That’s how the internet works now.

There are far too many people who still don’t believe I am equal to them or that I am a whole person. It grieves me to know they would rather I be shackled and not seen or raped into compliance.

I will always like this quote about the Sam Vimes theory of socioeconomic unfairness from the book “Men at Arms,” by Terry Pratchett.

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. … A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. … But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

Dollar stores are part of the Poverty Industry. Scottsbluff, population 14,436, has three Dollar Generals, a Dollar Tree, a Family Dollar, and a Five Below.

Airplanes are the new boxcars.

I have an old washcloth covering the handle to my shower. If it is not there, water hits it and makes an annoying noise. My cat, Aeryn, sits patiently outside the shower until I am finished. When the door opens, she hops in and spends the next five minutes “catching” the drops of water off the washcloth and licking her paw.

No one is coming to save us. We are the cavalry.

The Holocaust started with mass deportations.

Supporting the Constitution is now “leftist.”

There are far too many damaged souls running our government. They have no empathy, only hate.

And now, some relevant Andor quotes:

“There will be times when the struggle seems impossible. I know this already. Alone, unsure, dwarfed by the scale of the enemy. Remember this: Freedom is a pure idea. It occurs spontaneously and without instruction. Random acts of insurrections are occurring constantly throughout the galaxy. There are whole armies, battalions that have no idea that they’ve already enlisted in the cause. Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward. And then remember this: The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empire’s authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege. Remember this: Try.”

Karis Nemik, Andor, “Rix Road,” Season 1, episode 12

There is a wound that won’t heal at the center of the galaxy. There is a darkness reaching like rust into everything around us. We let it grow, and now it’s here. It’s here, and it’s not visiting anymore. It wants to stay. The Empire is a disease that thrives in darkness, it is never more alive than when we sleep. It’s easy for the dead to tell you to fight, and maybe it’s true, maybe fighting is useless. Perhaps it’s too late. But I’ll tell you this… If I could do it again, I’d wake up early and be fighting these b*stards from the start. Fight the Empire!
From Maarva Andor’s speech, a holographic recording played at her funeral, Andor, “Rix Road,” Season 1 Episode 12

My memoir will never be published. I do not have the capacity to complete queries. Most days, I’m okay with this information.

A friend recently reminded me of this Martin Luther Ling, Jr. quote from his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.” It’s still important today and we shouldn’t forget it.

Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.

I used to know a girl with an overinflated ego. She would tell me all the time about how she struggled with all the men who approached her all the time. She said it was annoying. Then, she told me, “It must be nice to never have that happen, Irene, isn’t it?” That was 1991. Sometimes, I still think about what she said. I hope she’s grown up now.

ACAB is still true.

He’s a dictator with sponsors.

Saw this quote from Rachel Maddow. Not much else to say, is there?

Similarly, it’s worth appreciating the increasingly toxic political framing that’s become a staple of heartbreaking circumstances like these: When there’s political violence, and the target is a Republican, partisans on the right see it as evidence that the left is dangerous. And when there’s political violence, and the target is a Democrat, partisans on the right still see it as evidence that the left is dangerous.

If Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country, then the U.S., is a Dollar General. Everything’s for sale.

If certain sections of the country, such as agriculture and the hospitality industry, can be exempted from unconstitutional roundups of people, it’s not about immigration. It’s racism and power. Look to who is affected. It’s always about petty revenge.

We need to stop saying, “this is not who we are,” because it’s pretty apparent, it is who most of us are.

Robert Kubica will never cease to amaze and inspire me.

The death cult of Christianity has a minister so filled with hate, he easily violated the commandment to not murder.

I am progressing in therapy, but the flashbacks are still there several times a week. I just spent the last two weeks enduring some horrific things that cycle in my head this time of year and surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I constantly wonder if anyone truly wants to hear about it.

I only write about 10% of my trauma. While this is my blog and I write what I want, I am also cognizant about horrific nature of my experiences.

EMDR is difficult to explain to people, especially those who haven’t done it or who don’t have trauma. It’s given me hope that one day I will be able to sleep, one day a flashback will just be another memory, and I won’t need therapy anymore.

My favorite episodes of Firefly are The Message, Jaynestown, and Out of Gas, in that order. The entire series is perfect, but I like these three the best.

This episode of The Daily Show really struck me. Jon Stewart nails it, again. I hope you watch it with an open mind.

I struggle every day wondering if I’m a good person and what I can do to be better.

I don’t think anyone is beyond redemption, but it’s not always your responsibility to help them get there (found on Reddit. Forgot to grab the link).

Never abandon hope. Rebellions are built on hope.