We’ve been on a terrible timeline since the end of 2016. If we are going to be forced to live with this shitshow, I think it should start off with a bang to make me smile. Here is my proposal on how to start 2025 and survive the next four years.
President Joe Biden gets drunk New Year’s Eve, wakes up the next morning, says “fuck it, I resign,” making Kamala Harris the 47th president.
Trump throws a temper tantrum all over the internet because now all his “47” merchandise is worthless. I laugh heartily as I read the headlines. He and his followers immediately start making “48” merchandise.
Over in the House of Representatives, the republicans can’t get a speaker voted in by noon on January 6, 2025, or by inauguration day on January 20, so the job falls to the Senate president pro tempore – 91-year-old Chuck Grassley, making him the 48th president. Trump again throws a temper tantrum and has to start making “49” merchandise. I laugh some more.
In case you aren’t familiar with how this could actually work, here’s the scoop. Every congressional session begins on January 3. Members-elect of the House cannot be sworn in until a Speaker is elected. The House is technically dissolved until this occurs.
In this situation, there is no Speaker and no House members are sworn in, which means the electoral vote certification cannot happen. The electoral vote certification requires both houses of Congress – the House and the Senate – to hold a joint session. If noon on January 20, comes and goes, America would be without a president.
According to the U.S. Constitution, the President pro tempore of the Senate is required to resign their seat and act as the President until the House gets off its ass and elects a Speaker. If the democrats had held the Senate, this would have resulted in our first female president – Patty Murray. However, the republicans will hold a majority as of January 3, so we get 91-year-old Chuck Grassley, a man who has been in Congress since 1980, when I was 10 years old.
I, for one, look forward to President Grassley. It would also be hilarious with the razor-thin margin the republicans have in the House, to have several republicans say “fuck you” to the party and vote House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries to the position of Speaker.
Trump would have an aneurysm and I’m all here for that. Remember, I grew up in New York. I’ve known what grifters he and his family are. You’re all about to experience that to the extreme because there are no more guard rails.
But, I digress. If Grassley becomes the president, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) will be forced into uncharted territory. This is because electors have continually voted for the stupidest people, who do not understand the basics of governing. These elected officials want to rule with an iron fist, not govern.
SCOTUS will have to answer questions, such as, if the election isn’t certified, does it become nullified. Can those people elected just ignore the Constitution and seat themselves? Can Grassley then appoint his own Vice President. In normal circumstances, the President can appoint someone to that seat with approval of the Senate. This wouldn’t be normal, so would President Grassley follow those rules or are there new ones to follow? Can he then appoint Trump and resign, making Trump president? Do we chuck out the current rules and have SCOTUS make new ones? How would that work? How long would it take?
All of what I have written is permissible under Section 3 of the 20th Amendment, however, that section also says that “If a President shall not have been chosen before the time fixed for the beginning of his term, or if the President-elect shall have failed to qualify, then the Vice President-elect shall act as President until a President shall have qualified.” It is listed before the scenario I want to see, but it doesn’t not signify that list order is procedure order. So, we’re back to SCOTUS and the kakistocracy shitshow.
Regardless of how the next four years turns out, this scenario would be the most hilarious shitshow on the planet. I mean, if you’re going to fuck over my country, I might as well be entertained while it happens. As I read on the internet the other day about the republicans, “This party’s more fucked up than a soup sammich.” I concur.
As always, “Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do.”
It’s also been said, “may you live in interesting times.” If it must be and I’m being forced to also live in “unprecedented times,” let’s make it chaotic and memorable.
In the mean time, Happy New Year, y’all. I’m going to go build some LEGOs.