I lost my rights again today

When the Supreme Court of the United States leak of the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case occurred a year ago, it was devastating for me. I held out a glimmer of hope that Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey wouldn’t be overturned, but I knew the final decision likely wasn’t going to change. It was still a debilitating gut punch when the decision became official. A right I had my entire life, a right I had exercised, was taken away from me. In that moment, half the American population were told they could not be trusted to make medical decisions for themselves.

Since that time, I’ve written many comments online. I’ve been called a murderer more times than I can remember. I’ve had kind internet strangers step in and tell forced birthers to kindly fuck off. I’ve said so myself. However, it is one thing to be called a murderer by internet strangers. It’s another when it comes from someone sitting in your living room.

The visitor to my house was someone I hadn’t seen in six or seven years. I had not received a text or phone call from this person. I knew nothing about what was going on in their lives. They knew nothing of my breakdown, my PTSD, or my journey toward healing. They had gotten back in touch with me a couple of days before while visiting family.

This person went and read this blog. They told me they had read my post. I’m not sure which one it was, but I think it was the open letter to then-Senator John Stinner and then-Governor Pete Ricketts. You can read it yourself. I had interviewed both men several times while I was a reporter at the Scottsbluff Star-Herald. I wrote to ask them to not call a special session in the Nebraska Legislature to ban abortion. Enough people wrote and called. They did not have the votes.

The person in my home  said they were sorry about what happened to me. I’m still unsure if they were sorry that I had an abortion or was raped many times in my childhood because their next sentence made me so angry I never did get a clarification.

Their comment to me after supposedly expressing sadness and empathy was to say, “but don’t you think it’s a sin to rip the arms and legs off a baby and let the doctors crush the baby’s skull so they can take it out of you?”

I’ve had Motivational Interviewing training. I know and understand how to have conversations with people who disagree with me in a calm, relaxed manner. All of my training went out the window.

I said that was not what happened. I asked where they or their spouse, or even my husband, had the right to make such a decision for me. This was also not a baby. Babies are born. They tried to correct themselves with “unborn child.” Yeah, no dice. You get to choose from zygote, embryo, or fetus. Never baby until it is born.

I thought to myself, “You’re fucking judging me for being a teenager who was raped?” Not one word was said about my rapist. According to them, I just should have kept the fetus anyway because that’s what their god wants.Trauma be damned. Forget about the fact that I would have committed suicide.

They also know I’m an atheist, yet they tried to shove their religion down my throat, tried to slut-shame me, and called me a murderer. I was angry and upset for days. I’m still angry and hurt today.

For 10 months, this conversation has been swirling in my head. For 10 months, I’ve tried to be respectful toward this person and their bronze-age beliefs, even though I was disrespected. For 10 months, I took the higher ground and remained silent.

My grandmother always said if I knew I was right, I needed to stand up and say so. If I knew someone else needed help standing up, I needed to step up and help them, too.

Yesterday, 33 people in Nebraska decided they know better than doctors about science and abortion. These 33 people said they have better judgment than a pregnant person who must often make the agonizing decision to have a medical procedure. My abortion is in the minority statistically. It shouldn’t matter. The decision to have an abortion should only be between the pregnant person and their doctor. The rest of you need to stay the fuck in your lane and take care of your own business instead of constantly trying to step in and tell other people what the right thing to do is.

There are many factors that go into the decision to have an abortion. This ban will harm others. Anyone who voted republican, is conservative, or has no problem telling people they’re murderers will have blood on their hands in the near future. We are already seeing this horrific scenario playing out in other states.

When Nebraska’s “brain drain” continues, these christo-fascists only need to look into the mirror to see why. If you held your nose in 2016 and voted for republicans because you refused to vote democrat, if you voted for and agree with these legislators who have inflicted these laws upon us, you are an enemy of democracy and are directly responsible for what is happening now and what will continue to happen.

Not only have you attempted to tell women they do not have bodily autonomy and only you can decide for them, you have done so by attaching yourself to a bill to ban people, who are already marginalized and stigmatized,  and ban vital care for their actual growth and development as a human being. You have participated in spreading fear and hate throughout Nebraska.

By targeting women and the LGBTQ+ community, you are stating they are unwanted. When people stop having families and when families leave the state, remember, this is on you. If you think the Nebraska GOP is going to stop there, they won’t. They will target any out group and continue to stir fear and hatred. While I would like to sit back and say, “I told you so,” I won’t. I’ll be on the frontlines with you as I fight for your voting rights, for your rights as a minority, and for the preservation of Loving v. Virginia.

The republicans are the party of pain and suffering. They are the party of inflicting undue burdens on their outgroup. They are the party of hate. If you voted for them, you have given tacit approval for these policies. You have given them a new justification for telling women they should keep their legs closed and stop being sluts.

As the GOP in Nebraska continues to move to outlaw things they don’t like or understand, they proceed to push their made-up scenarios of drag queens as groomers and transgenders just being confused. Maybe they should start looking at who the real groomers are instead. Here’s a hint to any republican reading: they’re in your house and the list is long.

You can hate people who are different than you. You can call me a murderer. The fact remains, you love this fascist shit. You attempt to indoctrinate children with your made up religion. You constantly look for ways to show how christian and godly you are as you masquerade a wholesome image and public prayers. We see who you are.

It was vile to see the photographs yesterday of the women at the Nebraska capitol rejoicing in the removal of my rights. They don’t realize they have taken the first step to remove all their rights, too.

If you are okay with the passage of LB574, you are telling me it is okay to restrict bodily autonomy, it is okay to repress an entire group of people who do not conform to your made up gender roles, and you are saying American bodies are not their own. They belong to the 33 people who voted to make them second class citizens. They belong to you and your contradictory, and made-up, beliefs.

Christofascism is evil. Its sole reason for existence is to take away an individual’s rights and to replace them authoritarianism. If you support this new law, you support evil and there will be severe consequences come election day, when people continue to leave this state, and when companies decide to take their dollars elsewhere.


Someone (she/her) who will never bow to your toxic, hateful, meddling, and hypocritical worldview.


They Thought They Were Free


Christian Nationalism in America


  1. This line is the truth people don’t want to see: “ They don’t realize they have taken the first step to remove all their rights, too.” The more we can be divided up, the more rights we will lose.

    I stand with you on every single word you wrote in this post. Keep fighting. I know I will.

    • Irene

      I admit, there are tough days when I don’t want to fight, but remember I can take a day or two off, step back and get ready for the next battle.

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