my life was not
what it appeared to be
the trophies
the awards
the accolades
I tried so hard
to fit in
but that was never going to happen
did it even matter
I didn’t buy in
to be like
everyone else
my dreams long since decimated
defiant
I went my own way
I’m just a drop in the ocean
too small to be noticed
too small to be missed
I didn’t follow anyone at all
I didn’t care who was disappointed
or if they cared at all
I didn’t give a damn
followed my own path
alone
weary
broken
defeated
I scream and cry
wail at the sky
but no one hears
the sound is silenced by fear
I continue to fall
break some more
there are no hands
to lift me up
it creates permanent scars
mired in misery
as the wind pushes me
away from life
the lights have faded
the train has left the station
but the memories tagged along anyway
it was all a deception