lost
alone
in pain
angry
through no fault
of my own
rage became my guide
protecting me
from everything outside
deep inside
the need to control
to keep the rage from consuming me
it lies in wait
for the bad days
the last nerve
forever burning within
without vigilance
it will erupt
in a maelstrom of regret
emotionless daydreaming
disconnect
disassociate
the imaginary more comforting
than the real world
where the rage is patiently waiting
a loud noise
a boisterous voice
an unexpected sound
a cause for flinching
fear and panic arrive
and the rage rises
the mendacity of rage
ever present
kept in check
but always burns
in my eyes
and
in my soul