Animals have an amazing way of making us feel better. My cats have a way of calming me in a way no human can and the animals at our local zoo have a way of doing even more.
Over the past year, I’ve written many stories about my struggles with mental health. I find solace in being alone with my thoughts in nature or thinking of pleasant places I have been. When things are bad and there seems to be no way out, the animals are always there.
The past two weeks have been incredibly tough ones for me, with each day seemingly worse than the last. The nightmares, the memories, the triggers of things past come rushing in. It becomes difficult to make sense of what is real, where I am. As time goes on, I know my refuge is a short drive away. The animals soothe my soul and allow me to focus and put my life back on track.
The day was chilly when I left work and headed toward Riverside Discovery Center. I hesitated for a brief moment to even go. My mind has been struggling this week to keep the truth at the forefront of my mind, to process the pain, and to continue to do my job. Each day felt a little worse. Each day a milestone in tenacity to not let the overwhelming emotions and symptoms from my trauma win.
When it all becomes too much, when the pain becomes a deluge, some time away from my thoughts restores the balance in my life. The intensity of life’s tragedies subside as I watch the animals at play.
Everyone always seems happy to seem me when I visit the zoo. Kimber and Otis can put a smile on my face just by seeing them.
Kimber and Otis.
How can you be sad when you have squirrel monkeys looking at you like this?
Ussuri enjoys the cold.
I’m kind of glad humans cannot pick their noses with their tongue. Ginger, a highland cattle, doesn’t seem to mind the utter grossness of it.
Black-and-white Colobuses are old world monkeys. It’s cold outside so they were inside watching keepers clean up the area. I have never visited the zoo where they weren’t smiling or making faces.
Kit is a marble fox. He is also an education animal at Riverside Discovery Center. I stood at his enclosure, watching him run around and enjoy the snow. He loves people. Before the public knew Kit was at the zoo, I got to pet him and spend time with the keepers as they trained and worked with him.
Bonnie the bobcat arrived at the zoo a couple of months ago. She had came from a rescue where she received excellent care. Bonnie had arrived at the rescue with pneumonia. It took so long for her to recover that she had imprinted on humans and could no longer be safely returned to the wild. Riverside Discovery Center offered to take her in and teach her to be an education animal.
After spending more than an hour at the zoo and returning to the front office, I was asked if I would like to spend some time with Bonnie while the keepers did some training. I had already begun to feel better, but I am never going to say no to any question which allows me to spend more time with the animals. I grabbed my camera and headed back into the zoo.
An artsy photo I took of Bonnie the bobcat at Riverside Discovery Center.
Alex Henwood, education curator, explained to me how things would go and asked if I would like to be the first into Bonnie’s enclosure. I said yes. I received instructions on how to behave around Bonnie. Immediately after the door was opened, I was to reach out to her, pick her up and put her near my shoulder. It was an easy task to accomplish. Alex captured the moment just before Bonnie licked me below.
Bonnie decides she likes me moments before she licks my face and gives me a kiss.
Alex Henwood did a fantastic job of catching my ease with animals, the pleasure they give me, and how much I enjoy being with them over humans.
I think Bonnie likes playing with me as much as I like playing with her.
Bonnie delighted in walking on my back around and onto my chest several times before sitting and watching Canada geese nearby.
Bonnie patiently waits for me to pet her.
Bonnie licks the back of my neck as she climbs all over me. This is why I am a visitor and not a zoo keeper. I would be terrible at training an animal and making them behave.
My problems don’t magically go away when I visit the zoo. The animals don’t heal the painful wounds that have scarred my soul, but the provide a salve to numb what ails me for a little while until I can get control of things again. I am eternally grateful to everyone at the zoo for always welcoming me and letting me spend time there and knowing that each time I visit, I heal a little more.
At my lowest point, the animals remind me of what’s true. I have survived. I am stronger than what pains me. The animals at the zoo, each one with their own story of survival, remind me of my resiliency to continue on. The war for peace and recovery will continue, but today I won the battle.