When the hour arrives
I
As I awaken
the knot in my stomach tugs at my soul
I stare upward
the ceiling, dimly lit
by the luminous blue and yellow
of the cable modem
before I realize it’s happening
before I can fight to hold them back
warm tears punch my cool face
their fire burns
as they trail toward my ears
4:27 a.m.
my day must start
I don’t want it to
as with everything
this is not my choice
fate has struck me again
with another cruel hand
that I must play
Cinders purrs
she has rested all night
upon my chest
She licks away a tear
presses her head
into my chin
before returning to her slumber
II
I open my mouth to speak to you
the words do not come out
I have so much to say
yet the syllables do not form
My mind scatters to and fro
I can’t think
can’t focus
can’t see
through the sorrowful, watery inferno
I try to use my hand
to coax the sounds from within
but there is only silence
Words cannot change reality
or the impending separation
Now that the time is here
I find I do not want to go
I cannot have what I want
so the tears burn
unseen scars
on my face
my perception blurs
and I am comforted no more