Writings

Tag: mental health Page 9 of 11

I sighed deeply

There was still a little bit of light outside. I suspect in a week or two, it will be dark outside at 6 p.m. Fall is in full swing and winter is nipping at the edges of the day, anxious to arrive and take over. The temperature was in the mid-forties. I parked my car in the empty K-Mart parking lot, got out and dialed her number.

I sat on the cold, concrete parking bumper. The chill instantly went through my blue jeans. I was shaking, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or everything else.

She answered on the fourth ring.

Current playlist

For the past year, I have been listening to music with no lyrics because I couldn’t take the unintended triggers music I like was causing me. I made a new playlist today. If it doesn’t work, I will go back to the nice playlist a pirate friend of mine made.

October

Same thing each year
nothing works

Choosing to stay

Every 40 seconds, someone dies by suicide. That’s a staggering number. I’m not writing today to fill up space with facts and figures. We all know about suicide and its devastating effects. We know we need to be kinder to one another. I’m not writing today to the people who already do this and who raise awareness to try to reduce the numbers of suicides. I’m writing to the person reading this that has felt low enough to consider completing suicide. I know how it feels.

Walking in a new direction

I’m sitting at work watching a marathon of Star Wars movies. It’s quiet at the youth shelter on the overnight shift and I can get a lot of things done. My only real distraction is the ticking clock on the living room wall. Clocks should be made to be silent, but it’s not my home and it’s not my clock, so I try to shut the noise out as best I can as I continue to think about the direction my life is now headed toward and how I’d like to get there.

Sweltering slumber

Be mindful of the cliff when chasing dragonflies

The dragonflies dart in front of me. They are large and swift, but are careful not to be a nuisance. They rise and fall as they flutter through the air, searching for a perch in which to look for prey.

The honesty of empty places

The honesty of empty places

a thought
a smile
books, hiking, breathing
happiness in solitude
enjoyment in alone

sit and watch
humans
animals
smiles from creatures
who do not understand
the joy of isolated socialization

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do

I have turned in my key. I have made my peace. I am no longer a reporter and photographer for the Star-Herald.

For the past five and a half years, I have written on a variety of topics and always put my best foot forward. That time has come to an end.

It started with a song

My day began with a flashback. It caught me unaware, arriving moments after opening my eyes. I had been fighting flashbacks on and off for about a week. Using my coping skills, I felt I had won this battle and headed off to work – tired, sleep-deprived, hopeful.

Page 9 of 11

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