Do you ever get so angry that you find it difficult to form words? Are you ever so upset you’re on the verge of tears and you wonder how to overcome it? I’m there right now. This past week has been so upsetting, given the absolutely shit decisions from the Supreme Court, I am finding it hard to write anything without the word “fuck” involved.
Fifty minutes after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, I sat in my therapist’s office. It was difficult to speak. All the idioms are fitting. I felt like I’d been hit with a ton of bricks. My soul was crushed.
At the 2021 Formula 1 Russian Grand Prix in Sochi, Lando Norris was just a few laps away from taking his first win. Seven-time champion Lewis Hamilton was chasing down Lando. There didn’t seem to be enough laps for Lewis to catch him and take the lead. Then, the rain came.
Lando qualified on pole and comfortably led the majority of the race. As the conditions worsened, both drivers’ pit walls got on the radio to tell their drivers to “box.” When a driver hears “box, box,” it means they need to come into the pits. This is typically for a tire change, but something else could be happening as well. Box is a shortened version of the German, boxenstopp (pit stop).
At the start of the race, Lewis fell from 4th to 6th place. Lando lost the lead, but regained it and looked like he would win. Lewis clawed his way back to 2nd with his eyes set on the win. As the rain fell, both drivers were ordered to box for intermediate tires. “Slicks” have no grip in the rain, which was expected, but turned into a deluge. Both drivers refused to box. On the next lap, Lando’s team again told him he needed to come in. He got angry and again said no and that he would be fine. Lewis’s team again told him to box and he came in for intermediate tires. Lando continued to refuse to come in and ran off the track several times.
When Lewis came back out of the pits, he was now under two seconds behind Lando. There were two laps to go. At turn 5, Lando’s McLaren aquaplaned off the track. Lewis took the lead. Lando boxed and aquaplaned in the pit entry. Lewis won the race, making him the first driver in F1 history to win 100 races. Lando finished seventh.
I have officially lived more of my life outside of New York State than in it. Considering the first 18 years of my life – minus a one-year stint in Hollywood, Florida – were spent in the Hudson Valley, I don’t think the New Yorker in me will ever go away.
I grew up about 90 minutes north of New York City, surrounded by trees, woods, and plenty of nature where I could, and often did, get lost. The first time I ever traveled into New York City was about six weeks before my 21st birthday.
When I say I sometimes miss New York, I am thinking of two distinct things – the variety of food and the trees. The people I know in western Nebraska don’t really understand the amount of trees I grew up around and how nature was always, and often literally, right outside my door.
Right now, I’m missing the trees.
I have often wondered how, statistically, I never became a drug addict, homeless, or ended up dead. Researchers have also found that folks like me, who endured immense traumas early in life, could keep going because there was one person who made a difference when it was needed to make you think you could keep going. This could be a few people over time and not always the same person. They were just the right person at the right time, when you needed someone. My grandmother was often that person in my life.
Bridge over the Niobrara River.
Agate Fossil Beds National Monument is one of my favorite places in the world. I like it so much, I’ve left instructions in my will to spread my ashes there.
A few weeks ago, KC Heath, co-owner of Nspire Today forwarded me an email about John Emery, a black and white large format photographer, who was going to be their artist in residence. KC thought it would be an awesome story. I agreed, but it’s not the kind of story Nspire does. We talked for a few minutes and I said, “You know what, KC? I like taking pictures and I love being in nature. They’re both good for my mental health, especially when I can actually go and do those things. I can write my column about it.”
I sometimes get behind in my writing for Nspire Today. We aim for around 1,800 words per article. My stories are typically 1,700-2,700 words, but the majority are around 2,300 words.
I can write longer if needed. I also find that, as I near 3,000 words, my hands start to hurt. Sometimes, I’ll push through as it means I’m close to being done with a second story, but my editor, Jeff, has repeatedly told me to only write one story a day, so I don’t risk burning out. I typically write 14-17 stories per month plus a column about mental health.
Another year of Formula 1 is about to begin. Well, technically it began early this year because of Ramadan, so Free Practices 1 and 2 are already over. Each year, F1 makes a new intro video, which is shown at the start of each televised viewing. This year’s intro sucks.
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