I’m not saying it was Aliens but…

I read a lot of things on the internet so you don’t have to. I research and look at the all the angles to make sure I can dig down to the truth. Then I share it with you.

There are some really strange things on the internet, such as stupid people who think vaccines are dangerous, people who think the Earth is flat and that, somehow, the cats haven’t knocked everything off it yet, and that there is an orange Cheeto, also known as Cheetolini, residing in the White House. I also found lots of “evidence” for aliens. I present the information I gathered below.

At first, I thought aliens were a hoax. Giorgio Tsoukalos turned up on the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens show with his giant hair, but he’d been around for a good while. He honestly believes some of the things you see on artifacts are evidence of aliens. I excused it as pareidolia. Surely, everyone was having a laugh. Then, I searched some more.

No. Not those guys. We know for sure those guys exist. This nice chap, Giorgio, showed us some other evidence.

Still not convinced? This cat saw something unexplainable.

The mystery deepened for the kitties.

These cats have what appears to be photographic evidence of Aliens.

Cats even answered a question about the greatest mystery in all the universe.

With all this information, I started to dig deeper into Giorgio’s life. I ended up with more questions than answers.

As Giorgio has aged, he also started looking like someone familiar. Ah-ha. The Centauri do exist and they have shitty ways of hiding themselves.

I then began to wonder if the government had done anything to try to prevent information about the aliens from getting out to general public. Indeed, they had.

Giorgio and the cats were right.

I found it all on the internet, so it must be true, right? I mean, how else do you explain it?

Come on, folks. This stuff is not real. There’s no such things as aliens. If there were, we’d never know or see them because they probably lock the doors on their spaceships as soon as they enter our Solar System.

Do you know what’s really behind all the crazy shit happening in the world? Do you want to know how all that stuff was made in the ancient world?