“Have you seen the paper today?” a man I know asked, clearly irritated. I nodded yes, but wondered why he was so angry. My bewildered look prompted him to open the newspaper and turn to a story about a transgender man going to court.
“Nobody cares about that shit here,” he said, throwing the paper on his desk. The story was about Gavin Grimm, a transgender man, and his case being heard at the Supreme Court. “No one wants to see that. It doesn’t matter.”
I thought about responding. He continued, “Why do they put garbage like that in the paper? I don’t care about it. I’m never going to read that. No one here has to deal with it.”
I decided not to participate. I wanted to explain why such a case does matter, that there are transgender people in western Nebraska even though he doesn’t want to see them or acknowledge them.
He was hiding behind his religious beliefs. I knew he would say his god tells him to hate certain groups of people. I’ve been there before.
I’m not afraid to speak over ideological differences, but, in that moment, I knew, nothing was ever going to change his mind. He and many others I’ve spoken to dig in and refuse to see any side but theirs. They speak over you to drown you out, never letting your point be heard.
So, I remained silent and let him blather on. He didn’t even read the article or know Gavin Grimm‘s name. He already bought into the fear that Grimm was some kind of pervert and only wanted to use another bathroom to commit lewd sexual acts.
According to CNN, The Supreme Court is scheduled to hear arguments in Grimm’s case on March 28 and legal experts question whether the justices could decide to use the Trump administration’s move to dodge a ruling on the merits. A lower court had deferred to the Obama administration’s when it ruled in favor of Grimm.
“The withdrawal of the guidance only impacts one of the questions in the case — whether the Obama administration’s guidance was valid. Even without it, the larger question, whether transgender discrimination should be treated as sex discrimination under federal statutes, remains,” said Steve Vladeck, a CNN contributor and professor at the University of Texas School of Law.
In April, 2016, I wrote a column about why transgender people are not a threat in the bathroom. You are already sharing a bathroom with transgender people and you don’t even know it. Not once have I ever gone into a public restroom with the thought of, “I wonder who else is peeing in here.”
According to the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), 69 percent of the teen sexual assaults reported to law enforcement occurred in the residence of the victim, the offender, or another individual. An estimated 60 percent of perpetrators of sexual abuse are known to the child but are not family members, e.g., family friends, babysitters, child care providers, neighbors.
The vitriol is disturbing. According to the Dallas Observer, Tracy Murphree, the GOP candidate for Denton County sheriff, posted on Facebook he would beat up any transgender person who tried to urinate in a bathroom where Murphree’s daughter was peeing. His post said, “All I can say is this: If my little girl is in a public women’s restroom and a man, regardless of how he may identify, goes into the bathroom, he will then identify as a John Doe until he wakes up in whatever hospital he may be taken to. Your identity does not trump my little girl’s safety.”
If Murphree is truly worried about his daughter, he should look within his own family and circle of friends. They are more of a danger to her than anyone in a public restroom.
Murphree later said, “he understands the transgender community already faces enough problems and he was not trying to add to their list of concerns they face each day.”
He said his words were aimed at people who might take advantage of new policies from stores like Target, which welcome guests to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity.
“What you’re doing is you’re raising the odds of these predators. You’re giving them a window, you’re giving them an opportunity,” said Murphree.
He says he understands, then proceeds to put them in the category of predators with the next breath.
Transgender stories are in the Star-Herald and dozens of newspapers around the country. Just because the Panhandle is conservative doesn’t mean a story isn’t news. These are real people and their lives are being affected whether you want to keep your head in the sand or not.
It’s time to move into the present. No one will ever be just like you. Being different shouldn’t be justification to vilify a group of people or be a license to hate. But how do you get through to people who will not listen?
Katie Bradshaw
I keep thinking of how hard this is for people whose gender and sex do not match with cultural norms. These things are not as black and white as some people would like them to be. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-39053828
Katrina Tylee
I also wish people would quit confusing transgender with transvestites. A man dressing as a woman or vice-versa doesn’t necessarily mean they identify as that other gender. Gender is a lot less black and white than our genetalia. I’ve not been worried about my kids in a public restroom (if I do I make them go with me) but I do worry other places. Bathrooms are a place to relieve yourself. I wish folks would quit bringing politics and religion into where I pee. Although in a lot of ways the metaphor for the politics and shit could go for a long time. :). I’ve known several folks who’ve made the transition and I wouldn’t worry about them in a restroom at all. Now some of the super religious folks make me very nervous. Often seems like they protest too much.
Irene North
And I just got a Facebook message of someone doing just that. It’s an absolutely vile message as well. If they can’t bother to learn the difference between the two, I’m not even going to talk to them.
Katrina Tylee
Finally back on here… So sad that people don’t know the difference and feel the need to show their ignorance.