{"id":70,"date":"2015-01-07T09:12:47","date_gmt":"2015-01-07T16:12:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=70"},"modified":"2024-04-22T02:46:17","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T02:46:17","slug":"irenes-2014-really-bad-movie-reviews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2015\/01\/07\/irenes-2014-really-bad-movie-reviews\/","title":{"rendered":"Irene’s 2014 really bad movie reviews"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following is a list of most of the movies I saw in 2014. I don’t do movie reviews well. Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.<\/p>\n

Godzilla<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

\"godzilla\"<\/a><\/p>\n

What’s not to like about Godzilla? I liked it. Then again, I like watching giant creatures destroy the world. I don’t need convoluted plot lines for that.<\/p>\n

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Absolutely fantastic. No it was really good. Go away with your negativity. I’ll be adding it to my Apes collection.<\/p>\n

Malificent<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Angelina Jolie did a fantastic job. The movie itself? Meh.<\/p>\n

The Last Days on Mars<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Boring. Maybe I’ve seen too many zombie movies, but even B-movies with zombies were better. If you’ve got an hour and thirty-eight minutes to kill, watch it, but don’t go out of your way to see it.<\/p>\n

The Great Gatsby<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Holy Crap! It was so borzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.<\/p>\n

The Amazing Spiderman<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Much better than the schlock earlier this century. I’m sure I’ll be watching it again. Paul’s a Spiderman fan. It doesn’t matter if I liked it or not. I’ll be seeing it many more times.<\/p>\n

Legend of Hercules<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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It’s not a film I could watch multiple times, but for what it was I thought it was good.<\/p>\n

The One Percent (Documentary)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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An interesting look at how the one percent lives and thinks about the rest of us.<\/p>\n

The Signal<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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I really wanted to like this movie. It tried to be hard science fiction. Visually, it was really well done, but the story was just too weird to like it.<\/p>\n

Edge of Tomorrow<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Based on the 2004 Japanese novel All You Need is Kill<\/a>, this movie is one of the best I’ve seen this year. It’s science fiction. It’s got humor. Stuff gets blown up. It has all the elements of a fun movie.<\/p>\n

The film takes place in a future where Earth is invaded by an alien race. Major William Cage (Tom Cruise), a public relations officer inexperienced in combat, is forced by his superiors to join a landing operation against the aliens. Though Cage is killed in combat, he finds himself in a time loop that sends him back to the day preceding the battle every time he dies.<\/p>\n

Cage teams up with Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) to improve his fighting skills through the repeated days, seeking a way to defeat the extraterrestrial invaders.<\/p>\n

The Defence of Duffer’s Drift<\/a>, published in 1904, is probably one of the earliest examples of this type of storytelling.<\/p>\n

The Giver<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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I read the book<\/a> many years ago and, although I liked it, it didn’t leave a big impression on me.<\/p>\n

Slate<\/a> has an article comparing the differences between the movie and the book. Some of the changes are minor to give the movie an updated appeal, such as a memory of war with horses becomes a memory of the Vietnam War. Some are changed to something completely different.<\/p>\n

Many of the memories we see Jonas receive are changed slightly from the book\u2019s versions: Instead of experiencing pain from a sunburn, for instance, Jonas gets a bee sting; a very old memory of war\u2014from a time when horses are used in battle\u2014becomes a memory from Vietnam. In the movie, the Giver accidentally transfers a violent memory to Jonas after Jonas finds him writhing on the floor in pain; this doesn\u2019t happen in the book. In the book, the Giver is occasionally in too much pain to transfer memories, and when that happens Jonas gets the day off.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The Daily Beast<\/a> hast an article about why lovers of the book will hate the movie. One of its biggest problems is Jonas is 12 in the book, but 16 in the movie and played by a 25-year old. The things Jonas learns from the Giver in the movie aren’t as jarring or scary as they would be to a 12-year old losing his innocence about the world.<\/p>\n

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. Some of the minor changes are easily overlooked. It depends on how much a fan you were of the book. Like Total Recall, both the short story<\/a> and the two<\/a> film versions<\/a> are equally entertaining.<\/p>\n

Tammy<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Meh, it was a cute, one-time watch of a movie. It was predictable, but a decent enough way to kill 90 minutes. It’s not something I’d ever look to see again.<\/p>\n

Guardians of the Galaxy<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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A science fiction movie based off a comic book series that doesn\u2019t take itself seriously sounds like a movie I’d love. It wasn’t. I keep falling asleep. It just wasn’t interesting to me. A lot of the jokes were not funny, some downright stupid. I felt like it tried to hard to be witty. Yes, I know it made $770.1 million, but that doesn’t mean I had to like it or that it was good.<\/p>\n

Dracula Untold<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Luke Evans does a good job as Dracula with what he’s given and the visuals are fantastic. The movie tries to re-image the Dracula everyone knows. If Vlad could kill thousands all by himself, what’s the point of his army? The movie tried to humanize Vlad, but it didn’t work for me. I’m okay with people wanting to change things up a bit and give a different take on a story, but it has to hold my interest.<\/p>\n

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia (Documentary)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Another documentary and holy smokes this one’s a winner. It’s a train wreck you won’t be able to turn away from. You will never meet another family quite like the Whites. It’s amazing, funny and sad. In the most frank terms, this family doesn’t give a fuck. From Wikipedia:<\/p>\n

Stemming from generations of coal miners<\/a> working in risky job conditions, most of the White family possesses a fatalist attitude and a lack of fear of death. For the duration of the film, various members recollect violent acts with neighbors, family members, and other locals. Other crimes included larceny, prescription fraud, shootings, armed robbery, forgery, stabbings and parental custody. D. Ray worked in the coal mines during the scrip<\/a> payment era. Mamie explains D. Ray’s frustration with the corrupt practices of his employers and how it led him to “outsmarting the system.” D. Ray legally signed each of his children up for “crazy checks” during early adolescence. Mamie discloses to the audience that each month, she (and other members) receive social security checks<\/a> monthly from the government due to their inability to hold employment from psychiatric disability.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How can you not watch a movie like that?<\/p>\n

Fun fact: I can dance just like the guy at 10 minutes into the movie.<\/p>\n

Terror at the Mall (Documentary)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

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Wow. Go watch it. A warning. There are graphic pictures and video in the film. It’s really compelling and I am glad I watched it, but it’s not something you should watch multiple times unless you’re purposefully trying to desensitize yourself to violence.<\/p>\n

10 Days in North Korea (Documentary)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n