{"id":4374,"date":"2026-03-14T14:54:35","date_gmt":"2026-03-14T20:54:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=4374"},"modified":"2026-03-14T14:54:35","modified_gmt":"2026-03-14T20:54:35","slug":"some-things-ive-been-thinking-about-lately","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2026\/03\/14\/some-things-ive-been-thinking-about-lately\/","title":{"rendered":"Some things I\u2019ve been thinking about lately"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Aeryn and Londo, probably plotting against me or judging me. Maybe both.<\/p><\/div>\n

This post isn\u2019t going to be my usual musings or a list of things to watch or any of the other usual stuff I write. It\u2019s about consolidation. I have been thinking about a lot of things lately and it\u2019s preventing me from getting done the deeper things I want to do. I figured I\u2019d fire off some of the things bouncing around in my brain which I’m not sure I want to flesh out into full posts of their own.<\/p>\n

I grew up in an era of reading the newspaper and being informed, in general, about the world. I can no longer tolerate it. I know folks without trauma are struggling with this as well. For me, whenever someone in the current administration speaks, it\u2019s disparaging another person. Much of what they say are things I heard growing up. I\u2019ve worked hard to put some of that past me, but when I hear it all the time \u2013 and it doesn\u2019t matter who it\u2019s directed at \u2013 those memories come flooding back in. If you\u2019ve read even a portion of my posts, you know my history and can understand why anything related to the Epstein Files is so activating for me. I needed someone yesterday to tell me it is okay to walk away for a while. I can\u2019t, mentally, be in this fight right now. The hardest part is that I feel like I\u2019m not being a kind or responsible person by walking away, but I need to do this because it is breaking me. I know this is what those in power want, but if I\u2019m broken I can\u2019t ever get back into the fray.<\/p>\n

I want to be the reason someone believes in good people and I had to process the above paragraph to understand that none of it changes who I am. I don\u2019t care about my r\u00e9sum\u00e9. I know I write well. I write what I want and try to make my little corners on the internet better places. When I\u2019m gone, no one will give a single fuck about that r\u00e9sum\u00e9 or my awards. They will remember how I made them feel. I read a quote on Reddit a few weeks ago. \u201cKindness is about who I am, not who they are.\u201d I don\u2019t want others to feel like I did growing up, how I still sometimes. I want to live in a kind world. I am kind because it is in my nature and it’s the world in which I want to live.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, time will erase me. Someone 100 years from now will read my byline on a news article, but who I am will no longer exist. What matters more than anything else is the kindness. Kindness will get passed on and I don\u2019t need the credit for starting it.<\/p>\n

Never stop learning. Read. Maintain your vocabulary. Fix shit. Build LEGOs. Learn Linux. Try a new recipe.<\/p>\n

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Build LEGOs and have fun.<\/p><\/div>\n

I miss the old internet where I could say, \u201chey, come chat with me on ISCABBS or Brinta BBS or on IRC.\u201d I had a Geocities site, then gereth.net (it\u2019s still up), and then this website. I\u2019m not owned by corporate filth. I\u2019m never going to make money here. It\u2019s just me pounding on a keyboard thoughts in my head. Not only is all of that okay, it\u2019s beautiful.<\/p>\n

Again, someone else online said it better than me and I forgot to grab the link to it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to put in to words how different this made everything feel.<\/p>\n

The internet used to feel like a dimly lit forest you could freely explore and get lost in. Sure sometimes you\u2019d stumble somewhere dark, but the forest felt mysterious and large and a little bit magical.<\/p>\n

Now it feels like your in Times Square surrounded by advertisements and too many people yelling out their political opinion.<\/p>\n

Even though I tried to limit being online, I noticed my attention span starting to wane. I started reading 15 minutes a day. Some days it\u2019s more, but that is the floor, not the ceiling of what I read. I don\u2019t have an answer for everyone, but a short attention span reduces the ability to tolerate complexities. It\u2019s why we want things done now or \u201cdone yesterday.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We have lost our ability to be bored. When you have nothing to do, don\u2019t pull out your cell phone. Sit. Think. Converse. Stare off into the distance. Be. Fucking. Bored. How can you discover who you<\/em> are and what you<\/em> want if you\u2019re constantly craving attention from others? Sit alone with yourself. Your life doesn\u2019t need to be filled with screens. The world is raising a generation now that has never been alone with their own thoughts. We don\u2019t talk about the long-term consequences of that. I can\u2019t even begin to explain the joy I get from playing with my great-nephew and the incredibly stupid games he comes up with, especially the one about being a zombie and the exact way I\u2019m supposed to \u201ckill\u201d him. Except I missed. So now I need to try again before he eats me. Or calls me silly. Or both. <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t look sick, but I am chronically ill. Don\u2019t judge a book by it\u2019s cover, and all that.<\/p>\n

I did not remember \u201cif it\u2019s brown lay down; if it\u2019s black fight back; if it\u2019s white goodnight,\u201d that time with the bear in New York. I was picking blueberries<\/a>. The bear sat next to me and picked blueberries. It did not have a bucket, so ate them right away. I slowly walked away. These internet comments are good recommendations as well.<\/p>\n

So if you ever come face to face with a polar bear you should just thank God for the time that you were allowed on this planet. <\/p>\n

Your best bet is to start throwing off large articles of clothing or bags and sprint towards appropriate shelter, the bear might stop to investigate if it was something edible that you dropped. If you\u2019re not within sprinting distance of shelter then just keep your stuff on, die warm.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard you\u2019re supposed to lie down and pretend to be dead, because it will be good practice for the next 5 minutes when you will actually be dead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We did not learn a thing from 9\/11. We are going to be taught the lesson again. I live near missile silos. Personally, I learned from 9\/11. I don\u2019t want to be collateral damage because of stupid people\u2019s refusal to learn.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m getting older and sometimes forget what I did yesterday. However, I clearly remember<\/a>, “Honeycomb\u2019s big, yeah, yeah, yeah. It\u2019s not small, no, no, no\u2026\u201d You\u2019re welcome for the frustrating earworm.<\/p>\n