{"id":2436,"date":"2020-04-24T06:24:34","date_gmt":"2020-04-24T12:24:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=2436"},"modified":"2024-04-22T02:46:09","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T02:46:09","slug":"tk-421-would-like-to-be-relieved-from-post","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2020\/04\/24\/tk-421-would-like-to-be-relieved-from-post\/","title":{"rendered":"TK-421 would like to be relieved from post"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/mind-crop-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/mind-crop-1-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"629\" height=\"420\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1828\" \/><\/a><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>The day ends with the peaceful bangs<br \/>\nof raindrops on the metal a\/c unit<br \/>\nThe sound of ambient music<br \/>\npermeates the room<br \/>\nminimizing the tinnitus<br \/>\nand inviting slumber<\/p>\n<p>Drifting off to sleep, there&#8217;s a quiet calm<br \/>\nfor fifteen to twenty minutes the world washes away<br \/>\nas another long day of keeping the intrusive thoughts at bay ends<\/p>\n<p>Startled awake<br \/>\nagain<br \/>\nfear rushes in<br \/>\nheart rate elevated<br \/>\nfists clenched<br \/>\nprepared for a fight<br \/>\nthat will never come<\/p>\n<p>eeeeeeeeeee<br \/>\nlouder than before<br \/>\nmeasured breathing<br \/>\nto calm the ringing<br \/>\nand the cacophony<br \/>\nof internal despair<\/p>\n<p>The rain has stopped<br \/>\nconcentrate on the music<br \/>\ncrush the anguished thoughts<br \/>\nand drift to sleep<\/p>\n<p>Somnolent yet aware<br \/>\nintrusive thoughts<br \/>\nturn into flashbacks<br \/>\nthe brain must decide<br \/>\nwhat is real and what is not<br \/>\nwhile waking Consciousness<br \/>\nto help fight and stop the pain<\/p>\n<p>Thoughts and feelings<br \/>\nmust be quelled with spoken words<br \/>\nbreathe slowly<br \/>\nthis is not real<\/p>\n<p>sometimes the tears flow<br \/>\nand there is no more sleep<br \/>\nonly sorrow<br \/>\nand memories<br \/>\nof long ago fought horrors<\/p>\n<p>sometimes unconsciousness returns<br \/>\nand the cycle continues<\/p>\n<p>sometimes the nighttime fight is rewarded<br \/>\nthrough moments of peace<br \/>\nextending throughout the night <\/p>\n<p>every now and again<br \/>\nwhen the sleepless nights<br \/>\nstretch into days, weeks<br \/>\nthe ingestion of mild poison<br \/>\nnumbs the flow<br \/>\nof constant pictures<br \/>\nno one else can see<\/p>\n<p>Whatever moment consciousness returns<br \/>\nthe brain must shift<br \/>\nreturn to a busy state<br \/>\nof constant focus and effort<br \/>\nto keep the intrusive thoughts away<\/p>\n<p>The morning song of birds in the nest<br \/>\nin the a\/c unit housing begins<br \/>\nTheir chirping starts another day<br \/>\nfor the robins and for the hypervigilence<\/p>\n<p>The brain returns to the minefield of horror and suffering<br \/>\nfighting simultaneous battles on many fronts<br \/>\nso the body can continue to function<br \/>\nand keep the outside world oblivious<br \/>\nto the trauma within<\/p>\n<p>The brain does its job well<br \/>\nand is exhausted at the end of the day<br \/>\nbut it cannot rest<br \/>\nit is time for bed<br \/>\nthe brain must fight on<br \/>\nso the body can rest<\/p>\n<p>The ambient music returns to soothe the torment,<br \/>\nbut it is never quite enough<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[238,285,294,377],"class_list":["post-2436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-mental-health","tag-poetry","tag-ptsd","tag-trauma"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2436"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3673,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436\/revisions\/3673"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}