{"id":2134,"date":"2019-11-13T06:25:11","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T13:25:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=2134"},"modified":"2024-04-22T02:46:10","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T02:46:10","slug":"flashback-57","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2019\/11\/13\/flashback-57\/","title":{"rendered":"Flashback 57"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Flashback 57<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m tired and I want to sleep
\nthe ringing in my ears
\ncan’t sleep
\nyou need to go away
\nthe nightmare seeps back in<\/p>\n

your words are crisp and loud
\nnever want to hear your voice
\nbut there they are
\nhaunting me
\nconsuming me<\/p>\n

You won’t go away
\ncan’t push you
\naway
\nit seems I’m stuck here
\nin my own nightmare
\nawake<\/p>\n

how can one escape the horror
\ninside their mind
\ncan’t physically leave
\nit’s a mental state
\nof mind<\/p>\n

put my socks and shoes on
\ngo outside
\nyou’re with me
\nget into the car, go for a drive
\nyou’re with me<\/p>\n

want you out of my head
\nthe memories
\nso vivid
\nand painful<\/p>\n

get the fuck out of my life
\nyou’re dead now
\nso many
\nyears ago<\/p>\n

You won’t go away
\ncan’t push you
\naway
\nit seems I’m stuck here
\nin my own nightmare
\nawake<\/p>\n

how can one escape the horror
\ninside their mind
\ncan’t physically leave
\nit’s a mental state
\nof mind<\/p>\n

clawing back to
\nreality
\nthe fight goes on another day
\nsome days I win
\nsome days I die
\na little more inside<\/p>\n

crawling back to normal
\nwhat is normal
\nbreathe and fight again
\nfight every day<\/p>\n

you won’t go away
\nI push you
\naway
\nstuck in my nightmare
\nawake<\/p>\n

try to escape
\nthe horror
\ninside the mind
\ncan’t physically leave
\nit’s a mental state
\nof mind<\/p>\n

The dreams are worse
\nI cannot fight
\nnot yet today
\nI’m drowning
\npulling myself to shore
\nstand for the battle today<\/p>\n

you won’t go away
\nI push you
\naway
\nstuck in my nightmare
\nawake<\/p>\n

try to escape
\nthe horror
\nthrough a door
\ninside my mind
\ncan’t physically leave
\nit’s a mental state
\nof mind<\/p>\n

The worry and fear
\nwhat if I cannot win
\ndefeated
\nhow do I walk away
\nfind victory<\/p>\n

you won’t go away
\nI push you away
\nget the fuck out
\nof my head
\nI’m awake
\nand I’m going to win<\/p>\n

escape the horror
\nthrough a door
\ninside my mind
\nit’s a mental state
\nof mind<\/p>\n

victory lies
\non the other side
\nof my eyes
\nthe waking nightmare
\nis not in charge<\/p>\n

you won’t go away
\nso I push you away
\nI’m awake and can see
\nit’s a mental state of mind<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[238,285,294,377],"class_list":["post-2134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-mental-health","tag-poetry","tag-ptsd","tag-trauma"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2134"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3727,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2134\/revisions\/3727"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}