{"id":2004,"date":"2019-08-04T05:25:02","date_gmt":"2019-08-04T11:25:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=2004"},"modified":"2024-04-22T02:46:11","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T02:46:11","slug":"i-tried-so-hard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2019\/08\/04\/i-tried-so-hard\/","title":{"rendered":"I tried so hard"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/pexels-photo-2130475-cropped.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/pexels-photo-2130475-cropped-1024x698.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"629\" height=\"429\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2005\" \/><\/a><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>my life was not<br \/>\nwhat it appeared to be<br \/>\nthe trophies<br \/>\nthe awards<br \/>\nthe accolades<\/p>\n<p>I tried so hard<br \/>\nto fit in<br \/>\nbut that was never going to happen<br \/>\ndid it even matter<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t buy in<br \/>\nto be like<br \/>\neveryone else<\/p>\n<p>my dreams long since decimated<br \/>\ndefiant<br \/>\nI went my own way<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m just a drop in the ocean<br \/>\ntoo small to be noticed<br \/>\ntoo small to be missed<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t follow anyone at all<br \/>\nI didn&#8217;t care who was disappointed<br \/>\nor if they cared at all<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t give a damn<br \/>\nfollowed my own path<br \/>\nalone<\/p>\n<p>weary<br \/>\nbroken<br \/>\ndefeated<\/p>\n<p>I scream and cry<br \/>\nwail at the sky<br \/>\nbut no one hears<br \/>\nthe sound is silenced by fear<\/p>\n<p>I continue to fall<br \/>\nbreak some more<br \/>\nthere are no hands<br \/>\nto lift me up<\/p>\n<p>it creates permanent scars<br \/>\nmired in misery<br \/>\nas the wind pushes me<br \/>\naway from life<\/p>\n<p>the lights have faded<br \/>\nthe train has left the station<br \/>\nbut the memories tagged along anyway<br \/>\nit was all a deception<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[113,285,377],"class_list":["post-2004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-depression","tag-poetry","tag-trauma"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2004"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3742,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004\/revisions\/3742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}