{"id":1932,"date":"2019-06-09T09:34:04","date_gmt":"2019-06-09T15:34:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.irenenorth.com\/writings\/?p=1932"},"modified":"2024-04-22T02:46:11","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T02:46:11","slug":"dragging-the-queen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/2019\/06\/09\/dragging-the-queen\/","title":{"rendered":"Dragging the Queen"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There isn’t much to do in a hotel room other than watch what’s on the television. For the most part, British television has just as much crap as American television. On Saturday, however, there was quite the farce televised live because it was Queen Elizabeth’s official birthday.<\/p>\n

There was some event on the Queen’s Parade Ground with a band and soldiers with swords and machine guns marching around the parade ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’s this? Why is the queen being dragged around in an old carriage?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt’s her official birthday,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, that’s the day she became queen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, that was in February.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, it’s her birthday?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. That happened back in April.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what the hell is this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt’s her official birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n

I sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, she’s the queen. She gets to have two birthdays…and a parade.\u201d<\/p>\n

I sigh again and shake my head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don’t have to understand it,\u201d Paul said. \u201cYou’re riff-raff and I’m riff-raff. But you’re worse because you’re American rif-raff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, basically, it’s a lot of pomp and circumstance and they drag the queen around and then she goes to eat some lunch?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess. She’s inspecting the troops though,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut she’s in a carriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe used to do it on a horse, but she’s too old now. She used to troop the colors.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don’t get what ‘troop the colors’ is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat’s because you’re riff-raff,\u201d Paul said. \u201cI don’t get it either because I’m riff-raff. We’re peasants and we should be happy we even get to watch it on TV.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is really dumb.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. And it’s boring. People just sit there and watch it,\u201d Paul said. \u201cAnd they like it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, when is she going to inspect the troops?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe already did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was in a carriage!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe’s 90-odd years old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you inspect from a carriage?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look out the window.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you, it’s not for you to understand. It’s not for you to question your superiors. You’re riff-raff and foreign riff-raff at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

A few minutes pass.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Here’s the flag. The TV announcer explained how cool it was that the guy dropped the flag, took a few steps, then raised it again.<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cSo a dude just gave another dude a flag.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh-huh. The colors have been trooped.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty minutes of bullshit and marching so one guy could give another guy a flag?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m calling the police and telling them you’re making fun of my history and culture.\u201d<\/p>\n

I sigh. I look out the hotel window and watch the rain come down again. It truly is grim up North.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

The Queen looks like she’d rather be someplace else.<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cI bet the queen hates this, too and she wishes she was someplace else eating Jaffa Cakes,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re just jealous because you don’t have anything like this in your country and you don’t have a fancy uniform and a big hat,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can keep them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ten minutes later, the troops pass the queen. The television announcer says Queen Elizabeth is \u201cwatching keenly\u201d everything that is going on. I disagree.<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m pretty sure she just wants a Jaffa Cake.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There isn’t much to do in a hotel room other than watch what’s on the television. For the most part, British television has just as much crap as American television. On Saturday, however, there was quite the farce televised live because it was Queen Elizabeth’s official birthday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[125,295],"class_list":["post-1932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories","tag-england","tag-queen-elizabeth"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1932"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3754,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions\/3754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irenenorth.com\/writings\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}